Graze, 11-12 Friargate, Derby

Well at last, a brand new independent restaurant opening in Derby. This is exactly what local enthusiasts of "something that's half decent to eat, but isn't a chain" have been waiting for! The dark Bat Cave interior had intrigued me since the day it opened and now they've had enough time to correct any initial blips (I believe they had more than their fair share), it's time to don our miners helmet lamps and take the plunge.
It really is dark in here, not only are the walls, furniture, lights, etc all black, but the menu was pretty difficult to read being printed in black on dark grey paper.
The maitre 'de promptly turned up in his dark Gothan City suit, inappropriately smeared and stained in places. Maybe he's secretly attempting to paint one of the rooms white, in between his front of house duties.
An order for the Potted Atlantic Prawns (£5.75) and Smoked Mackerel Tian (£5.50) was placed along with a Crispy Belly Pork (£10.95) and a Poached Fried Chicken Roulade (£11.95) logged for mains. When enquiring if we'd need to order any accompaniments, extra chips were promptly offered by the man in black. Not a good sign.
G&T and Vodka & tonic were duly delivered. Hang on a minute, that's lemonade not tonic. Here we go .....
Once the transformation from humans to foxes was complete, I scanned round the room with my new ability to see in the dark and was taken aback by the sheer size of the place. My hearing must have also become more acute (bat like) as I was suddenly aware of the sheer volume in here. Several long tables towards the back of the room with large parties on them obviously made up the bulk of the volume. Hen do's or birthday's no doubt.
The starters came with suspicious lightening speed. My Potted Prawns wrapped in smoked salmon, were very chilled, they'd either been de-frosted or just taken out of a very cold fridge? Characterless in taste and texture, as was the thick wedge of foccacia, very "Morrisons bakery". The Mackerel tian was...... you guessed it, Mackrel pate. Bog standard stuff. Both dishes were displayed on large irregular shaped plates, massively over presented. All dressed up, with nowhere to go!
Within minutes our plates had been whisked away and we were presented with the main attraction on two more large inappropriate "OH, don't they look trendy" plates.
Tell me if I'm crazy but Crispy Belly Pork, needs to be crispy. Yes, you guessed it, it wasn't. A thick slice of wobbly pork isn't top of my list. The twice cooked chicken roulade wasn't saying much either, chunky chips, spinach and an alleged thyme jus were sharing the plate.
The speedy service, bland over presented food served to at least 100 covers at a time, made me think........ Could this be the new Antibo's?
Fine dining it certainly isn't.
Unfortunately this place is all show, at medium dough, for people "not in the know"!
No doubt you'll be invited to Karen's 21st birthday here, you'll see what I mean.......
Food 5/10
Venue 6/10
Service 4/10
Tel: 01332 208262

www.timetograze.com

"In darkness there is no sin, Light only brings the fear, Nothing to corrupt the eyes, There is no vision here" (Wait for the Blackout, The Damned 1980)

Martin (sometime in July, it wasn't that memorable)