Emilys Steakhouse, 24 Monk Street, Derby DE22 3QB

What do we expect when looking for somewhere to eat? Good food (obviously), relaxing environment (or lively depending on what you fancy), clean (er... definitely), appropriate service (hopefully) and of course, right money. Well Emily's Steakhouse fell short on most of these. I can't believe I'd been recommended this by the same person that introduced me to Ebi Sushi, which is coincidentally over the road.
We were the only dinners, which is probably why the proprietor was keen to show us some pictures on her digi camera, of some customers she'd had in earlier, yeah right....
Drawn by the bright lights, we'd popped in on this chilli evening only to be met by an interior too brightly lit a dirty floor and a disappointingly cold atmosphere. It didn't bode well. It was therefore no suprise, that Emily herself, made a point of telling us "tis 21 deglees in here tonight". Is it now, feels bloody colder than that! You really need to do something special or different (Ebi obviously scores on both of these) if you're to make a go of a restaurant in this neon lit, kebab dominated part of Derby.

No starter but a sirloin steak and chips for Bec (£12.99) liver, onions and mash (£9.99) for me. It was all too "Berni Inn, circa 1970". A tough steak for Bec, cooked rarer than she'd asked for. They forgot her pepper sauce, so were were forced to wait 5 minutes before tucking in. My god we're the only two people in here and there's 3 staff, how can that be? My liver and onions was again too 'pub chain' for my liking, over cooked liver and school dinner gravy. At £26 for the two meals and a drink, we'd have been better off at Pizza Express.
Remember the slogan......"You're better off at a Berni"
We'll if they were still around, we certainly would have been.
Food 3/10
Service 4/10
Venue 3/10
Tel: 01332 368863

"What the hell is wrong with you, What the hell you going to do" (Nasty, Nasty, 999, 1977)

The Black Swan, 44 Market Place, Belper, Derbyshire, DE1 1FZ.

I believe that Belper is a town going somewhere. An award winning independent cinema, where you can have a bottle of wine whilst watching a movie, an Aladdin's Cave of a deli, a well attended farmers market and several new eateries including the recently re-furbished Black Swan in the Market Place, not to be confused with the Black Swan at Idridgehay (which is also near Belper).

It's a Tuesday,

We don't want to cook,

We don't want to go far,

We want "decent midweek grub!". Let's go........

There are three concepts on the go here: formal dinning downstairs, pub food in the bar or wait for it..... tapas in the bar too! We gotta try that.

Not just Spanish dishes on offer here (in fact most aren't Spanish) but various plates of noshable goodies and morsels from around the globe. We asked for some marinated olives (£2.00) to soak up our two pints of Carling, the other half wasn't keep on the strong cumin flavour, not what I would have expected either, but for two quid, who's complaining.

To share we chose a portion of kofte kebab (£3.50), regular nachos (£3.95), spicy potatoes (£3.00) and hallouimi with sweet chilli sauce (£3.50). If you look at that again, we've got middle east (kebabs), Mexico (nachos), Turkish/Greek (halloumi), far east (sweet chilli sauce) and the spicy potatoes can be anywhere you bloody want them to be!

The kebabs were three lamb skewers served with a chunky glass of tzatziki, they got polished off immediately. The unusual mix off halloumi with sweet chilli sauce actually worked quite well. Thick slices of deep fried "sweeky" halloumi with a glass of sweet chilli sauce, again all gone. The spicy potatoes weren't saying much and the landlord agreed with me when he collected the plates. Why serve it then ???!!!! However the large bowl of nachos we shared was top drawer. No tortilla chips or Doritos here (honestly I've had cheesy Doritos in a nachos before!) but proper large flour tortillas, deep fried and served with a generous blob of salsa, sour cream and guacamole. I'd have that again ( and I did the next day, but regretably we were told they'd ran out of guacamole, how frustrating).

It was fair to middle and I'd have another go some time, however I'd like to hear from any one that's been to their restaurant. Considering it was just over twenty smackers including a couple of pints, it was a bargain.

Food 5.5/10

Service 6/10

Venue 5/10

Tel: 01773 823000

"Let's wait for the blackout, The light is too bright, Let's wait for the blackout, Wait for the night" (Wait for the Blackout, The Damned, 1982)

The Mill Wheel, Hartshorne, Derbyshire, DE11 7AS

The short listed entries for the sixth Derbyshire Food and Drink Awards, organised by Derbyshire County Council, were announced a couple of weeks ago. I'd hoped to try and drop in on a few of the venues before the winners are announced on Thursday 25th October.
However time has slipped by and it now looks like The Mill Wheel at Hartshorne(*), shortlisted for Pub/Bistro of the year 2007, is going to be the only establishment I'm going to have time to grace between now and the 25th. At last we're gona get a decent Sunday lunch!

So it's off for a jaunt down windy country lanes with mother and Bec (a tip: don't sit in the back when you go via the Repton route. The constantly winding roads nearly caused me to be re-introduced to my breakfast!)
The Mill Wheel is a delightfull building, with a dramatic 24ft diameter water wheel dating back to the 18th century, greeting you as you walk in. Pretty impressive. However faux pas number 1 happened within a minute of arrival. There was no record of the booking I'd made the previous day, luckily they had a spare table in the dining room. We order a round of drinks. Just a soft drink for me, my stomach still thinks we're at Alton Towers. The downstairs bar area was extremely homely, a real fire and several sofas ensured maximum 'relax' factor. The 1st floor dining room regretably didn't have the same feel. Despite the original old beams, the large rectangular room felt more canteen than cosy. It oozed busy, industrious and slightly disorganised. Nevertheless our window table did ensure a lovely view of sunny autumnal fields.

Menus printed of sheets of A4 paper were thrust upon us, why they don't print a pile of menus and give every diner a fresh one, rather than a slightly crumpled one with a gravy stain in the corner, I'll never know. The cost is negligible, but the appearance is so much sharper. The table also felt a bit disorganised, with a tired single artificial lilly in a not-too-clean glass vase.
The starters were upon us. Chicken liver pate for Bec (£4.50) and ham hock terrine for myself. Both were accompanied by onion marmalade. They'd obviously made too much! The plates were well presented, clean in appearance and with just enough peppery rocket salad to accompany.
A large queen wasp circling our table kept us entertained until the main course. First I felt queezy, now I felt uneezy. Will I ever settle? Roast top side of beef for me (£8.95), roast leg of pork for mother (£7.95) and roast leg of lamb for Bec (£9.95) and two dishes of veg to share, the usual new potatoes, carrots & cauliflower. Three oversights then occured in quick succession. The second round of drinks never arrived, the requested horseradish and mint sauce didn't either and there was what I could only describe as a blighted spud amongst my veg, uuuurgh.
My accompanying Yorkshire pudding, had the texture of.......yes pudding. The oven & cooking oil obviously weren't hot enough when it went in. Everything screams "we can't cope".
My beef was also overdone for my liking, and I certainly wasn't given a choice. However all the meat was tender and we certainly weren't going to leave any behind.
When asked "was your meal ok?", I had to say "sorry it wasn't". They did what they only could and knocked off the price of one main. I got the impression they were short staffed and over booked today.
To be honest I was quite shocked that this is supposed to be in Derbyshire's top 5 pub/bistros. I just hope for their sake that the judges visited on a worthier day.
As we left the carpark I urged Bec to go back via the main road. I don't think my stomach can go through that again!

(*) For reference, the others in this category are:

Bluebell Inn, Farnah Green
The Chequers Inn, Froggatt Edge
The Holly Bush, Church Broughton
The Devonshire Arms, Beeley (Winner: Derbyshire dinning pub of the year , 2007)

Food 5/10
Venue 6/10
Service 5/10
Tel: 01283 550335

www.themillwheel.co.uk

"I`m sick to death of everything you do. And if I’m gonna have a puke, you bet yer life I’ll puke on you. I’m gonna be, gonna be sick on you" (Sick On You, The Boys, 1977)

Thai Boran, 56 Green Lane, Derby, DE1 1RP

Yet another thai restaurant, is indicative of the cuisine types available in Derby (there's a further two thai/oriental openings planned for this month alone). A vast selection of Indian & oriental restaurants, but still no decent "pub grub" within the city centre. What I'd give for a plate of piping hot smooth buttery mash and some locally produced herby sausages and ladle of rich fruity onion gravy (decent grub)........don't get me going!

Having stayed late at my shop one Monday evening, staining one of the floors. I was ready for a beer and a quick food fix. We were just about to snap the final lock shut when a couple of friends waltzed by, en route to Thai Boran. We didn't need to be asked twice.......in fact we didn't need to be asked. We were coming!
I've always prided myself on knowing most eateries within the city centre, but Thai Boran on Green Lane, was new to me. I hadn't ventured this far up Green Lane since Alf James closed down (how I used to think it was cool to walk around Derby with one of those fake cigarettes, puffing out clouds of talcum powder!).

The Tardis size interior revealed a cluster of rooms, filled with the habitual large wood carved elephants and scenes of Thailand. A table in the main auditorium was selected by your now extremely hungry stain (floor) covered host.

Thai beers already in place, and several bowls of fiery prawn crackers later, it was the Toong Thong (isn't that what Betty Boop wears?) that arrived first (£3.99). A brass stand topped with half a dozen crispy wonton parcels, filled with minced prawn & chicken and a sweet chilli dipping sauce, was equally shared between me and Bec. Charlie Dimmock would have been proud of the accompanying floral arrangement, carefully carved from large oriental radishes and dipped in the chilli sauce, they also tasted half decent.

The extremely nervous waiter swapped our empty beer bottles for full ones and removed the rest of the flower arrangement, ensuring he kept everything at arms length (does he think I've put one of Alf James's exploding detonators in the food remnants?!)

The main event for me was Gai Yang Phoo Khao Fai (or chargrilled chicken) £7.49 and Pad Num Mun Hoi £6.79, for the Bec. Once more served up by the apprehensive looking waiter. I reckon he'd recently been reading the Firework Code. "No 4: Light the firework at arm's length, and stand well back!" I couldn't get over his unusual body language.

The chefs artistic talents had again been put to full use, with my chicken dish served up sizzling in a cleverly created tin foil chicken. It was a perfect combination of thai herbs and grilled chicken, hot, sweet and garlicky. I forgot to order rice but as usual there's always plenty of it kicking around, so I pilfered some of our companions steamed jasmine rice to absorb any remaining juices in the base of my foil bird. Bootiful! Bec's dish was her favourite combination of chicken and mushroom. Well presented again, but padded out with a few too many peppers for her liking.

All in all it was a really good discovery. If we hadn't polished off about 5 beers each the bill would have been around £20-£25, for one starter to share and a couple of mains and drinks.

I do like Thai, but let's hope that sooner than later, someone sees an opening for something different within the city centre. We shouldn't be forced to flee the city in an attempt to find some decent grub, no wonder Pizza Express and Zizzi are always busy.

Food 7/10

Service 6/10

Venue 5/10 (the toilets let it down abit)

Tel: 01332 343933

"Eighties - I'm living in the eighties, Eighties - I have to push, I have to struggle, Eighties" (Eighties, Killing Joke, 1984)

Martin, September, 2007

The Thai Kitchen, 3 Wilne Lane, Shardlow, DE72 2HA

The new Alvaston Bypass can now propel you from Derby to Shardlow in minutes, so mother, sister et moi hit the gas and 10 minutes later we're pulling up outside the old Lady in Grey hotel. Dark and derelict from the outside, the entrance reveals a 'Narnia' esk junk shop interior with old tables, carvings and various brik-a-brak squeezed into every nook and cranny.
Considering it's August, the room felt surprisingly cold (mind you, hasn't this summer been the worst you can remember!?). Then as if by magic the heating suddenly came to life. Things are gonna start warming up!

The constantly bowing waitress took our order, nothing for the mother but Tempura Squid (£4.95) for me. Lightly battered, soft fleshed hoops of yummy squid with a choice of three dipping sauces, thai-riffic! Sis had a bash at the Thai Mixed starter (£5.45), a platter of various deep fried morsels and the ubiquitous ornate radish carving (are you supposed to eat this?).
The bowing waitress removed our plates and returned with the three mains. Mother had ordered Pad Prio Wan Gai (£7.15), a modern take on Sweet & Sour Chicken, a bit too sweet for her palate she proclaimed, but it still kept her quiet for some time. I ordered Gai Pad Med Ma-Muang (£7.65). I was intrigued by the description's foot notes proclaiming that this is Andy Roddick's favourite dish (world no.2 tennis player, in case you didn't know). I'd never have guessed he lived in Alvaston!. A classic thai combination of chicken, cashew nuts & chillies was accompanied by a bowl of sticky rice. A bit too fiery for me considering it only had a 1 out of 5 heat rating. Sister ordered Pad Gra Praw Gai hor Kai (I assure you these are the genuine names!) at £8.25 it was the most expensive, and also the most disappointing. The stir fried chicken with holy basil in an omlette, came....without the omlette wrap, resulting in an expensive plate of stir fried chicken & mushrooms. "So solly, fort yoo ask foor diflent dish". Well they never charged for it, which in my opinion is the only thing a restaurant should do in these circumstances. I'm still amazed how a kitchen that isn't busy, get such basic things wrong.

The eclectic interior is fun, but I do draw the line at the amount of cobwebs. I know it adds to the C.S. Lewis experience, but I don't think stir fried chicken with sweet & sour spider would go down well with most people.
Worth a look, but don't go in your Armarni suit or Jimmy Choo's!
Food 5/10
Service 6/10
Venue 6/10 (or 2/10 if you don't like spiders or cobwebs)
Tel: 01332 793311

"Don't tread on an ant he's done nothing to you, there might come a day, when he's treading on you" (Ant Music, Adam & The Ants, 1980)

Martin, August 2007

Unfortunately, despite the fact I thought this was a fun place and the food was acceptable, some friends visited last month and told me the food was very poor, and the restaurant was cold. Probably best avoided.

Martin, February 2009

Graze, 11-12 Friargate, Derby

Well at last, a brand new independent restaurant opening in Derby. This is exactly what local enthusiasts of "something that's half decent to eat, but isn't a chain" have been waiting for! The dark Bat Cave interior had intrigued me since the day it opened and now they've had enough time to correct any initial blips (I believe they had more than their fair share), it's time to don our miners helmet lamps and take the plunge.
It really is dark in here, not only are the walls, furniture, lights, etc all black, but the menu was pretty difficult to read being printed in black on dark grey paper.
The maitre 'de promptly turned up in his dark Gothan City suit, inappropriately smeared and stained in places. Maybe he's secretly attempting to paint one of the rooms white, in between his front of house duties.
An order for the Potted Atlantic Prawns (£5.75) and Smoked Mackerel Tian (£5.50) was placed along with a Crispy Belly Pork (£10.95) and a Poached Fried Chicken Roulade (£11.95) logged for mains. When enquiring if we'd need to order any accompaniments, extra chips were promptly offered by the man in black. Not a good sign.
G&T and Vodka & tonic were duly delivered. Hang on a minute, that's lemonade not tonic. Here we go .....
Once the transformation from humans to foxes was complete, I scanned round the room with my new ability to see in the dark and was taken aback by the sheer size of the place. My hearing must have also become more acute (bat like) as I was suddenly aware of the sheer volume in here. Several long tables towards the back of the room with large parties on them obviously made up the bulk of the volume. Hen do's or birthday's no doubt.
The starters came with suspicious lightening speed. My Potted Prawns wrapped in smoked salmon, were very chilled, they'd either been de-frosted or just taken out of a very cold fridge? Characterless in taste and texture, as was the thick wedge of foccacia, very "Morrisons bakery". The Mackerel tian was...... you guessed it, Mackrel pate. Bog standard stuff. Both dishes were displayed on large irregular shaped plates, massively over presented. All dressed up, with nowhere to go!
Within minutes our plates had been whisked away and we were presented with the main attraction on two more large inappropriate "OH, don't they look trendy" plates.
Tell me if I'm crazy but Crispy Belly Pork, needs to be crispy. Yes, you guessed it, it wasn't. A thick slice of wobbly pork isn't top of my list. The twice cooked chicken roulade wasn't saying much either, chunky chips, spinach and an alleged thyme jus were sharing the plate.
The speedy service, bland over presented food served to at least 100 covers at a time, made me think........ Could this be the new Antibo's?
Fine dining it certainly isn't.
Unfortunately this place is all show, at medium dough, for people "not in the know"!
No doubt you'll be invited to Karen's 21st birthday here, you'll see what I mean.......
Food 5/10
Venue 6/10
Service 4/10
Tel: 01332 208262

www.timetograze.com

"In darkness there is no sin, Light only brings the fear, Nothing to corrupt the eyes, There is no vision here" (Wait for the Blackout, The Damned 1980)

Martin (sometime in July, it wasn't that memorable)

The Red Lion, Hollington, Derby

It was only a matter of time before my culinary journey around Derby ended up at the Red Lion in Hollington, situated off the main A52 Derby to Ashbourne road. It's become widely recognised as one of the best pub's for food in the area, it's just a shame that it's a little bit too far for that impromptu mid-week jaunt (especially if you fancy a beer or a glass of wine).
Here to celebrate my son's 20th birthday (even though he never made it. He shot off to Blackpool last minute. Obviously preferring humdrum food to freshly drummed-up food!). Ah well, three's company, four's more expensive!
Two dining areas to choose from. The recent extension is the slightly more formal dining area, whilst the cosy bar offers the same menu.
The three remaining members of the birthday party plonked themselves in the bar, slap bang in from of the large chalk board menu.
I was the only one to take on a starter. Goats cheese on toast with a beetroot glaze (£5.65) was an attractive plate with a decorative squiggle of beetroot glaze. Very yummy, but there wasn't enough of the sweet and tangy beetroot glaze to cut through the goats cheese. I needed more!
Mother never does starters, so went straight for the lamb & mint pie with chips and peas (£8.25), a hearty dish, piping hot with plenty of chunky chips. No complaints, but I did think it was more of a winter dish than high summer. Bec had her favourite, the rack of lamb with garlic & rosemary jus (£15.95). A bit pricey in my opinion, it turned up pink, juicy, well presented and piping hot. I'd got an appetite so went for the fresh fish and chips with peas (£8.95). The large piece of crispy fish was struggling to fit on the plate. It was hot, fresh and extremely filling. I was beat!
It easy to see why this place has won various eating awards (even though it's not received an accolade for a couple of years now). This is top pub grub. Slightly pricey in parts, but quality does come with a price.
I couldn't help wondering if Daniel's fish & chips in Blackpool would be as good as mine........wake up Martin!!
The Red Lion. Sometimes hard to find, but invariably worth it.
Food 7/10
Service 6/10
Venue 7/10
Tel: 01335 360241

"My father when I was younger, Took me up to the hill, That I looked down on to the city smog, Above the factory spill, He said this is where I come, When I want to be free, Well he never was in his lifetime, But these words stuck with me" (One Way of Life, The Levellers, 1992)

www.redlionhollington.co.uk

Martin, Tuesday 3rd July 2007 (my son's birthday)

Ruskins, Derby Road, Melbourne, Derbys

Ruskins wins "Plain English Award" for it's menu, 3rd year in a row!

(click to enlarge)

I'm sorry, but Friday night is lads night. After a long stressful week at work, there's nothing I need more than a few pints O foamin ale! But when I get a call at 5 0'clock asking would I like to make up the numbers at Ruskins in Melbourne (super sub!) for Dave's birthday, I jump at the chance, and my better half is more than happy.
He's hired the whole place, all 24 seats of this cosy single room restaurant. It's the 1st time in years I've been to an un-licenced restaurant, so a quick jaunt to the Offy for some bottles of our favourite tipple, was pulled-in before our lift arrived.
30 minutes later we're in Melbourne, a village (or is it a town?) with more than it's fair share of quality eateries, most of them congregated around the busy Derby Road. At first glance Ruskins appears to be a house, until I recognised some of the reprobates gathered outside, we'd found it!

Someone with a bit more notice than us had had brought with them, a plastic barrel of the beloved Pedigree Bitter (they probably installed it the previous day, that's planning!). Pint in hand we proceeded to play musical chairs, until everyone was happy with the seating arrangements.

Copies of the extremely difficult to read hand written menu were strewn around the two tables. Unless I'm mistaken, I ordered Scallops wrapped in pancetta, with courgette and scallop fritters, for Bec it was to be large field mushrooms stuffed with spinach, garlic and a type of cheese that we still haven't been able to deduce from this poorly written menu (see above). My scallops were cooked just right and tightly wrapped in salty slivers of bacon, er sorry pancetta, with plenty of leaves and a tangy hollandaise sauce, very bistro style. Bec's plate was also adorned with a heap of leaves, topped with the large mushrooms, still firm yet cooked and oozing with the garlic, spinach and the unknown cheese. Finger lickin good.

Main course I opted for fillet steak, requested rare it came slightly overcooked for me, but with a superb light wild mushroom cream sauce. Bec had the rack of lamb, cooked just right (slightly pink) served with a wine and mint sauce and seasonal broad beans. We both eagerly polished off our plates of food.

To date service had been pretty slow, but to be fair they were trying to serve all 24 guests at once from the tiny en suite kitchen, subsequently we both still felt there was room for a pudd. I'm impressed at the large selection, 12 in total, and all my favourites creme brullé, sticky toffee pudding, baked cheesecake, almond tart, etc, etc. Well I have a confession now, due to the fact that the table was adorned with various bottles of wine, I must have had two glasses on the go! and several pedigree's have been forced down my neck. A week later I can't remember what I chose. I know, I know, bloody ridiculous, but I can tell you that I do recall clearing the plate, so I can safely say, "it was good".

I start to hear words like "taxi" and "how long", next I know we're evicted onto the street. We then proceeded to wait at least an hour before a taxi came to pick us up, by which time I was soaked, tired and wobbling like a jelly at a kids birthday party.

At £30 for three corses, I reckon it's good value, however Dave sprung the entire bill. Top night Dave, thanks!

Ruskins was a little gem, but take it easy on the drinks and definately pre-book your taxi. Hic.
Food 7/10

Service 5/10
Venue 6/10

Tel: 01332 864170

"There were times, I´m sure you knew. When there was f**k, f**k f**k-all else to do" (My Way, Sid Vicious, 1978)

Martin, Friday 15th June 2007

Ebi Sushi Restaurant, 59 Abbey Street, Derby

It's Lads n Dads night, and now no.1 son is nearly 20, we're no longer forced to endure McDonalds or crap pubs with "family" rooms. It's time to take him to one of Derby's best kept secrets Ebi Sushi Restaurant on Abbey Street. "A Sushi restaurant on Abbey Street!?" I hear you saying. Honestly I was as surprised as you, when I first found out.
Named after owner and master of the knife Ebi, this brightly lit café style venue, was allegedly opened to cater for the increasing amount of homesick employees at Toyota in Burnaston.
Most nights getting a table can be difficult, but tonight wasn't a problem. Two cold glasses of Japanese Asahi beer were ceremonially ordered while I deciphered the menu.
I thought I'd go easy on the lad seeing as it was his first time. Six ornate salmon rolls to kick-off with (£4.00), raw salmon coated in sticky rice, neatly wrapped in dried seaweed, and with just a hint of the powerful wasabi (Japanese horseradish). Three pieces each, so far it's neck and neck. Next it was a large bowl of udon noodles with king prawn tempura (£7.80) to share. The clear, salty miso broth came with plenty of large slippery noodles to chase around the bowl, and topped with two large lightly battered king prawns. One a piece, so it's still neck and neck. I didn't want to hit no.1 with wave after wave of raw fish (most people think that's Japanese food in a nutshell, not at all), subsequently it was a plate of Tontatsu (£6.50), pork fillet thinly sliced, bread crumbed and deep fried, and a plate of sizzling Beef Teriyaki (£11.00), fillet steak marinated in the finger lickin Teriyaki sauce, and brought to the table spitting and sizzling. Our chopsticks clashed like swordsmen as we fought to get the slivers of sweet & savoury fillet Teriyaki into our gobs. Divine. Still neck and neck, this could be going to the wire.
No.1 pipes up "Dad, I thought we were going to have more sushi & try some raw fish?". OK, I'll show him, I order 4 pieces of sushi (£2.00 each). Consequently 2 large pieces of raw salmon and 2 plump raw scallop's turned up, each perched on a neat bundle of sticky sushi rice. They were larger than I'd expected. I darted for a salmon piece, no.1 opted for the scallop. The taste is subtle and the fish is extremely fresh, but the texture can be difficult, especially if you think about it too much. To be honest I struggled. No.1 attacks his second piece, loving it! There's one piece of scallop left, I can't face it. No.1 doesn't need to be asked twice. Drat, he piped me at the post!
A neat ceramic bottle of warm Saki rice wine (£6.40), suitable amuses no.1 and washes away any remaining fish tastes for me.
This is a great place, very authentic, but probably a bit expensive for a Thursday night bit of snap, £61.49 is more Saturday night with the missus price. Worth it though, for lovers of probably the healthiest cuisine on the planet.
Food 7/10
Service 7/10
Venue 4/10
Tel: 01332 265656

"I think I'm turning Japanese, I really think so" (Turning Japanese, The Vapours, 1980)

Martin, Thursday, 14th June 2007

Anoki, 129 London Road, Derby

I was extremely pleased to hear the news that Anoki is now open on Sunday evenings. So when friends asked if we'd like to go for a ruby one dreary Sunday afternoon, we didn't need to be asked twice!
Housed on the upper floor of an old movie theatre, the dining room features are impressive. An entrance adorned with fresh flower petals, takes you up mirrored stairs to a large room with an ornate curved ceiling, walls dotted with contemporary prints, and a projector screening Bollywood musicals onto a wall, making Anoki's first impressions pretty breathtaking. It doesn't stop here, the staff are some of the most courteous and efficient in town, and certainly the best dressed in their traditional outfits, and the owner Nev invariably on hand to welcome you.
Poppadoms are complementary here, and come with the usual suspects, lime pickle, mint sauce etc, but the presentation is certainly above the norm. No stainless steel serving plates here.
Cold Cobra beers ordered, we hit the menu. Spicy grill selection pour moi (£6.50), a heavenly plate of various chicken and lamb morsels, for Bec it was here favourite Prawn Puri (£5.95), a better than average version of this popular bhuna strength dish, served on hot puri bread. I just love the starters in Indian restaurants, I think it's the heady aromas drifting through the air, they cause my taste buds to shout "order everything!".
The alert staff ensured our drinking vessels were never empty, and the main attraction soon hit centre stage. Chicken Makhani (£11.95)came in an exquisite square bowl with painstakingly hand carved vegetable decorations, as did Bec's Lamb Saag (£11.95), both supported by a bowl of shared pillau rice and a plain nan. The depth of tastes achieved in both dishes was simply adorable. For once I think we got the quantities just right, either that or we were extremely hungry.
Absolutely no complaints, impressive venue, top quality food, exquisite presentation and above average service.
I recently saw an advert for Anoki, the wording said "Not only Derby's best Indian restaurant, but probably Derby's best restaurant" I'm not gonna argue with that!
I tell you what, just writing this has made me hungry "Bec, fancy a curry tonight!?"
Food 9/10
Service 9/10
Venue 9/10
Tel: 01332 292888
www.anoki.co.uk

"I'll take all they can give me. And then I'm gonna ask for more" (Looking After No 1, Boomtown Rats, 1977)

Martin, Sunday 10th June 2007

Navigation Inn, Shardlow, Derby

Phew, what a busy couple of months it's been! I've been fortunate enough to go to The Seafood restaurant (Rick Stein's), Jamie Oliver's award winning 15 Cornwall (Best Restaurant view in the UK award) and more recently Aaron Patterson's Hambleton Hall in Rutland. Lunch here set me back nearly £240 smackers, severely denting my 'eating out' budget for May. Worth every penny though!
Anyway back to the task in hand, it's Sunday, it's sunny and me and the Mrs fancy a run out with a view to having a lunch. "Shardlow" I screech. A quick pint outside the picturesque Malt Shovel then it's back up the road to the Nagivation Inn for lunch.
Taken over a few years ago by Ian & Kim (formerly of various eateries in Nottingham: The Grill Room, etc) This large pub en route to East Midlands airport (I will never call it Nottingham airport!) serves better than your average pub food, with Ian still at the helm. On a sunny day it's perfect with stack's of tables outside and an area the size of an aircraft hanger for the kids to suitable run around. Drink in hand we scoured the printed menu. It was decided a Blue Cheese, potato & bacon salad (£4.90) to share as a starter, Roast beef, Yorkshire pudding with horseradish sauce (£8.50) pour moi & a main size portion of Tuna nicoise (£8.90) for Bec. My pint slipped down well under the warm afternoon sun, but Bec's Pepsi didn't have enough syrup (it was obviously one of those mixer taps) and was just a glass of Pepsi flavoured water. Yuck!
Due to Bec's dislike of strong cheeses, it was down to me to polish off the majority of the starter. No complaints from me. Mains arrived. My large piece of beef was accompanied by an abundant plate of veg, it actually looked like two plates of food, I suggest a different shape receptacle for accompanying veg. I could see Bec wasn't going to be happy with the large quantity of tomatoes & olives that adorned her salad, ah well....... My choice was just what the doctor ordered, beef still a "bit" pink, plenty of veg & gravy, however no horseradish sauce (well nothing that tasted of horseradish anyway). The only real down point was when Bec complained of the Pepsiless Pepsi, no "sorry, can I get you anything else" or "apologies, please accept a fresh one", just nothing! I hope the service doesn't start to let this place down, Ian's a great chef/cook, but you don't need all the hard work you've done in the kitchen, undone by young staff who don't really give a hoot. I recommended the Navigation to a friend a few days later, the friend who I will call Steve Bailey for fear of disclosing his real identity, reiterated my service fears, veg never arrived and they even forgot to bring the change back at the end of the meal.
Guys, tighten the service reigns and you'll have a good gastropub on your hands, not just another pub selling food.
Food 6.5/10
Service 5/10
Venue 7/10
Tel: 01332 792918

"Oh, the heads that turn, make my back burn" (She Sell's Sanctuary, The Cult, 1985)

Martin, Sunday 3rd June, 2007

Stelianas & Saphos, London Road, Derby

Mother, skinny & myself had decided to head off towards the London Road restaurant metropolis in search of an eaterie, on this damp Tuesday night (how much rain have we had lately!), when out of the corner of my eye I spotted Stelianas Greek Taverna. Car dumped down a side street we trotted off back towards the venue.
The radiant white room had it's walls adorned with various souvenirs of trips to Greece & Cyprus. However it wasn't enough to disguise the rooms blandness, it certainly lacked a homely feel.
A traditional bottle of Mythos lager beer (£3.50) for me, a Malibu for skinny and a "skanky" 125ml glass of wine (£3.90!) for mother, got things moving.
I secured a starter of Halloumi cheese, Skinny had Prawns a la Sapho's, de-frosted prawns with lemon and parsley (£5.40), she enjoyed them imensley, but at £5.20 for three slices, my starter was definately overpriced.
For the main feature mother and myself had the Lamb Kleftiko (£13.50), lamb slow baked in the oven. Skinny had the Stiphado & Pork Kebabs (£12.70), Stiphado is a classic Greek dish of beef slowly cooked in red wine, on this ocassion it was accompanied by a skewer of pork kebab. It was meat eaters heaven and both myself & mother were beaten by the amount of meat. Her two Jack Russell puppies weren't complaining the following day though, they seemed to enjoy the cold lamb more than we did.
I remember what freindly people the Greek's are (they've always made me feel welcome on my various trips to the islands) however this guy never spoke a word, not a "how's your meal", etc until I made the first move and asked how thing's were doing. The silence had been broken! Hey mate, lighten up, engage your customers, make the place a bit more cosy, knock ya prices down 20%, and serve a decent size glass of wine!
I have freinds over from Greece next week, I certainly won't be bringing them here. This is far removed from the taverna you probably visited in Corfu last year, ahhh those were the days.......
Food 4/10
Service 5/10
Venue 4.5/10
Tel: 01332 385200

"Ca plane pour moi, ca plane pour moi" (Ca plane pour moi, Plastic Bertrand, 1977)

Martin, Tuesday 27th February, 2007

La Tasca, Friargate, Derby

When you arrive at a restaurant at 8 pm on a Friday evening and it's in complete darkness, it's not usually a good sign. Mother, skinny & myself had decided last minute to finally try out Deco on Woods Lane, but it looks like we'd left it too late. Complete darkness and the entrance firmly locked, could only mean one thing........ closed for business. I always thought that Woods Lane was an unusual location for a restaurant, but encouraging reports meant I must find out for myself. Alas it was too late.
OK, so it's Friday night and it's getting on, where too now? We're in town and we need to eat, before skinny's blood sugar level drops!
La Tasca, squeezed in between the old St Werburgh's church and the Casino is in my opinion a really nice building, and inside the ambiance is spot on, however some tables are badly located by toilet or kitchen doors, so it was worth us waiting 5 minutes for one of the tables against the perimeter wall, with comfy cushions in abundance.
Our drinks order had already been taken at the bar, so it was just a case of waiting for our eyes to adjust to the semi darkness before trawling through the list of Tapas.
I took the reigns and ordered a selection of potato, meat and fish plates, seven in total between the three of us. No surprise that only 6 arrived. For me, this is when it started to go Pete Tong, one plate missing, no bread (I don't know if you should get it free, or if you pay for bread, but a small basket of "fresh" crusty bread is essential to mop up any garlicky, wine sauces), hasty service and the chant coming from upstairs of "Happy birthday to you..........."
The lighting was dimmed yet again, but luckily my skinny had a torch in her bag, so mother was able to select her dessert by torchlight. Where is our waitress? I couldn't wait any longer for another beer and found myself going to the bar, for the first of two visits, to ask if we could have more drinks. Not good enough.
This place is rapidly becoming the Antibo's of the city centre, specialising in large tables of revellers who don't care about the quality of the food or the fact they've waited ages for a waitress to ask if they'd like another drink.
I can't say anymore than........ attractive venue (especially in the evenings), below average service and "unworthy of average" food (I reckon their meatballs would be suitable for vegetarians!) This is probably the first chain eaterie I've been to this year, and it was no better than the 1st time I visited. Tickety-boo for large groups and appetites, tenuous for fresh food and service.
A full menu can be viewed by clicking on the link : www.latasca.co.uk/TAPAS/Tapas.html
Food 4/10
Service 4/10
Venue 6/10
Tel : 01332 206515
www.latasca.co.uk

"Hey Mr. Jim I can see the shape you’re in" (Spanish Stroll, Mink DeVille, 1977)
Martin, Friday 23rd February, 2007

Masala Art, Midland Road, Derby

CLICK ON SAMPLE MENU TO ENLARGE

I don't know about you, but every week or so I need my curry fix, once it's done that's me sorted for another couple of weeks. Well tonight it's the whole family trotting off to Masala Art on Midland Road to collect our prescription.
First impressions are of a warm, softly lit room and very courteous, traditionally dressed staff. The waiting/bar area is a bit small, and there's probably only enough seating for four people, so we were propelled straight to our stylish laid tables and each presented with a copy of their innovative menu. The majority of the seating is made up of high backed, tan suede upholstery, very modern and if you get one of the booth's, also quite private. Drinks were promptly served, it was now time to decide, change your mind, then decide again, what to eat....
Mother plumped for her usual poppadoms and pickle. They pride themselves here on unusual accompaniments, such as their own apple & mint chutney, however they were more than happy to bring her the ubiquitous lime pickle. It was mushroom bhaji for the Bec, mixed vegetable starter for my skinny and tiger prawn puri for me. I was well impressed with the presentation of my starter, and it didn't disappoint the palate either, my skinny was also satisfied with her trio of samosas and bhaji's, but the perfectly formed circle of what I think was a tamarind reduction, was a bit fiery for her. Updates were provided by the attentive staff as to the imminent arrival of the mains, and in due course they promptly appeared, all presented in charming copper bowls. My usual chicken bhuna (£8.95) was remarkably tasty but slightly too hot for me, even though it is only rated number 1 (they rate all their food on a 1 - 3 chilli rating), lamb dansac (£8.95), lamb with spices & lentils for mother, chicken balti (£8.95) chicken with yoghurt & green peppers for my skinny and lamb saag gosht (£9.95) lamb, spinach & greens for Bec. Two pilau rice & one plain nan completed the line up. It was enjoyable for all, but my skinny did say she felt her's was a bit lacking on depth of taste. The attentive service was maintained throughout, and at the end of the proceedings we were presented with a small questionnaire, asking what we thought of their service and food, no wonder they're able to maintain such lofty levels of service, when they're constantly monitoring their customers opinions.
All in all it was hard to find faults tonight, as mother said to find any would be considered picky. When it came to 'way-in' £90 for the meal (that's 4 starters, four mains & 2 drinks each) we were once again asked what we thought of the experience. " I reckon you're one of the two best Indian restaurants in Derby" I said. "Yes, but are we number 1 or number 2?" she replied. Now there's a thought.............
N.B. Scientists at Nottingham Trent University have discovered that people can actually become addicted to curries, because they arouse and stimulate the senses. Their findings indicate that people do not just crave curry because of its spicy taste, but also because it stimulates the senses and provides a natural high (BBC, Oct. 2000).

Food 7.5/10
Service 8/10
Venue 7.5/10
Tel: 01332 292629
www.masala-art.co.uk

"Hot in the city, hot in the city tonight, tonight" (Hot in the city, Billy Idol, 1982)
Martin, Saturday 3rd February, 2007

Saracens Head, Shirley, Derbyshire.

The Saracens Head, Shirley, halfway between Derby and Ashbourne, has recently been taken over by the crew from the Red Lion at Hollington, a pub which has achieved entries in some of the UK's leading eating and drinking guides. Having been to the Red Lion several times, I was keen to give their new venture a go.
My initial thought when I walked in was, it's too bright. I reckon some of the lamps should have softer lit bulbs, to make the place appear more cosy (and save money), and let the candles on tables get a look in.
The menu was displayed on a large chalk board. I like this, it says 'seasonal' and 'fresh' to me. However I was disappointed to see the only fish option, Lager battered fish and chunky chips, was crossed off, a second 'lighter' fish dish on the menu would have been good.
When we both saw the size of the portions being placed on the adjacent table, we decided a starter to share would be enough. Goats cheese wrapped in pancetta (about £4) came with a mound of fresh crunchy leaves and a tangy dressing. With two of us hacking away, it didn't last long.
Bec had Char grilled lemon, rosemary and garlic chicken with asparagus and tagliettelle (£7.50), she was easily beaten by the large amount of pasta. Pour moi it was Steak and mushroom pie with chunky chips and veg (£7.95). Both plates came piping hot, and as with Bec, I was beaten by the sheer volume of food. I was marginally disappointed that it wasn't actualy pie, but a plate full of stew with a cut out square of puff pastry, placed precariously on top, however my veg was spot on.
This is hearty pub grub, very much pie and chips stuff, but perfect for rounding off a long walk on a Winter's day, accompanied by a pint of real ale and a roaring log fire (they had both of these). They could definitely tweek the menu, by adding one more fish and vegetarian option. It's early days and they may eventually take it in an entirely different direction.
Maybe closed on Monday's.
Food 6.5/10
Service 6.5/10
Venue 6/10
Tel: 01335 360330

"We're goin down the pub" (Hurry up Harry, Sham 69, 1978)
Martin, Thursday 1st February, 2007

Crown Inn, Marston Montgomery, Derbyshire.

My gastronomic weekend was rounded off with a visit to the Crown Inn at Marston Montgomery for Sunday lunch. Winner of the Derbyshire Food and Drink awards, for best pub/bistro of 2006. After a 30 minute tour of some Derbyshire country lanes (" I told you to turn right at that last roundabout!") we finally fell on the tiny hamlet of Marston Montgomery (about 8 miles south of Ashbourne).
The low beamed ceiling, warm red decor and old leather sofas gave the bar area a friendly feeling, and the young staff were courteous. Pint of Tim Taylor in hand and I was settling in well.
I had a starter of boudin blanc with brunoise vegetables, Bec had the game terrine with onion marmalade, both fresh and well presented plates, any remaining sauce & dressing was mopped up with the complimentary fresh bread. Moroccan shoulder of lamb with parsnip gratin pour moi, Roast rib eye of Derbyshire beef with chateau potatoes & Yorkshire pudding for Bec. I made a poor choice with the Moroccan lamb, Sunday's are about roasts, Yorskhire's and gravy, not apricots, cinnamon and nuts. It was good, but Bec had the right idea. The presentation was again modern and fresh, only the slightly charred parsnip gratin and the fact we had to fight over the one piece of broccoli in the bowl of shared veg, gave us any cause for complaint. Second pint of Tim Taylor and the car key was shoved in Bec's direction.
For a finale we had a portion of sticky toffee pudding and a slice of lemon torte, again the plates looked attractive and each came with a couple of hand made biscuits. There wasn't quite enough butterscotch sauce for my sticky toffee, but I'm one of those people that need lots of custard with the likes of Christmas pudding, when the custard or sauce runs out, it's game over for me. All in all, it was well worth the money, all starters were £3.95, mains £7.95 and puddings £3.95. A worthy winner. Just make sure you've got sat nav before you go!
Food 7.5/10
Service 8/10
Venue 7.5/10
Tel: 01889 591576
www.thecrowninn-derbyshire.co.uk

"Stranded, I'm so far from home" (I'm Stranded, The Saints, 1976)
Martin, Sunday 28th January 2007

Darley's, Darley Abbey, Derby

Perched next to the water and overlooking a weir is Darley's, arguably Derby's no.1 restaurant. It certainly holds the a premier location, unfortunately in the dark it's difficult to see the view and at this time of year the terrace is obviously closed. A table for four was booked for 7.30 (a bit early if you ask me) Bec et moi didn't turn up till 8.15, not a problem, but our companion's had polished off the olives and hand made crisps. The bar area is a good size with ample compact seating, and the roundhouse shaped room was resonant with the level of chit-chat & glass clinking you'd hope to find. More crisps were eventually provided (how much salt!) and companion #1 stole the olives from the next table. I tried one, it was bitter.
Down to business. The young man that took our orders gave me the creeps, I'm sure he's related to the Child Catcher in Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. Seared scallops, with potato blinis & lemon dressing (£8.50) for two of us, Salad of roast quail with pomegranate dressing (£7.30) for the other two. No complaints, but I couldn't help thinking they were a bit too elementary and lacking a bit of "wow". Gressingham duck with creamed potato, winter veg & blackberry sauce for Bec (£18.20) The plate was an attractive & ample meal, but where did those enormous blackberries come from? Black pudding stuffed loin of lamb, confit potato & pearl barley ragout (£19.50) for companion #1. A well presented, seasonal (& hopefully locally sourced) winter plate. Last but not least two portions of Turbot, squid ink linguine, saffron & mussel chowder (£18.95) Looked good, tasted fresh, but I was hoping for more of a seafood 'kick' from the squid ink linguine. I wasn't happy with the smear that ran the full circumference of my plate, at this level, attention to detail should be precise. We mumbled amongst ourselves for a couple of minutes that there was no extra veg. In the end we didn't need it, but it was on the menu and maybe should have been suggested by the Child Catcher. Still, on the plus side we've got room for desert, well the two blokes did. The plastic laminated dessert menu was more akin to Little Chef, it's these little things that let it down. Chocolate fondant & strawberry daiquiri sorbet for companion#1, assiette of seasonal deserts pour moi (both £6.25). My large white plate was a picturesque mixture of sorbets, pastries and the like. However the shot of Aftershock in the middle of my plate didn't go down well with my desert wine. All in all it was a pleasant experience, but it could definitely add more "wow" factor to it's food, and further effort should be given to detail (clean plates, attractive desert menus, etc) When booking ask for a window seat.
Food 7/10
Service 7/10
Venue 7.5/10
Tel: 01332 364987
www.darleys.com

"I see all my dreams come tumbling down" (Train in vain, The Clash, 1979)
Martin, Friday 26th January 2007

San Marco, London Road, Derby

I'm sure my skinny (skinny blister/ sister) won't mind me saying that she's a pretty fussy eater at the best of times, I'm not just talking about what she likes to eat, but "this chair's not comfortable", "I can feel the air conditioning too much at this table", "it's a bit too smokey here, let's sit over there", etc, etc. Many a waitress has taken an order from us, only to return to the table half an hour later with plates of hot food, to find it empty, Marie Celeste style. Well it's Mother's birthday today (Burns night), and we're en route to collect a family friend with a view to going on to the Saracens Head at Shirley, 1 minute from Rowland's house and the word from the back of the car is.......................it's now San Marco.
San Marco on London Road is huddled amongst some of Derby busiest eateries (Anoki, Peppitos, etc) in what is probably one of Derby's oldest remaining areas for restaurants.
Considering it's such a cold night, the large room is warm and cosy (good lighting is important). We plonk our bum's on one of their large sofas and order a focaccia to share (not the one on the menu, but the one they used to do. It's good). We're seated. So how long before my skinny complains, we're too near the speaker on the wall?
Crisp clean linen, sparkling cutlery, only the slightly dry bread at fault so far. Still not a squeak out of my skinny. Focaccia all gone, the dry bread used to mop-up the remaining garlicky oil on the plate, mmmmm. Agnello Nero (about £13) for the birthday girl, a plate of well cooked lamb cutlets, with a rich red wine & garlic sauce, topped with a wedge of polenta. Filetto Pasticcione (£15.95) for my skinny, filet medalions with a brandy, porcini & mushroom sauce. Filetto San Marco (£15.95) for yours truly, a thick filet cooked medium/rare (should have just said rare, what was I thinking about?) wrapped in a slice of prosciutto, and neatly balanced on a bed of spinach. It was supposed to have a whisky & cream sauce, but I didn't detect the whisky. Pollo Mediterraneo (£10.75) for Rowland, a chicken breast on a bed of tagliatelle, topped with a mound of brightly coloured peppers, courgettes & olives. His plate looked as though it had been told the party was fancy dress, when in actual fact it was a black tie do! Crunchy roasties, cauliflower cheese & fine green beans accompanied. A good selection, but some of the beans were older than their mates (some were dark and crunchy, others pale and softer). No complaints from my skinny, mum happy as larry, my filet didn't touch the sides, Rowland............well all the chicken and pasta has gone, but some of the fancy dress costume was left on the plate, but no complaints. Three tiramisu's (home made) and a toffee meringue for mother. The home made tiramisu was a disappointment, far too sweet and not enough coffee & alcohol. It just tasted....."sweet".
Good all round attentive service from what must be Derby's leading Italian restaurant. It's independently owned, with genuine Italian (+ 1 Spanish) staff. We all had meat for main course, but they have a comprehensive selection of pasta & pizza's, all around a£9-£11. I've had their seafood pasta before, it was pretty good. I find there's always a good atmosphere here, even though the room is quite large. At weekends it's always very busy. And did my skinny complain? Not once......... now that must be a good sign !
Food 7/10
Service 8/10
Venue 7/10
Tel: 01332 200814

"Everyone's looking for something new" (Something New, Anti-Pasti, 1980)
Martin, Thursday 25th January 2007

Nico's diner, Brick Street, Derby

"Why don't you get your own washing machine" said one of the guys in the pub? "Because I live in an apartment and I don't want to hear it, when I'm watching TV". "Well then put it on a timer, to come on during the night!" he quickly replied. OK, so he's right, but nearly 2 years down the line, and I still take the washing to my beautiful laundrette. In that time I've been intrigued with Nico's diner, oppposite the laundrette and squeezed between the bookies and wine-off.
Going away tomorrow, no food in the fridge, so dash round with the missus. "No matter how many are in, or what you think, we're goin in!" I tell her. There were only two other tables occupied, but it's compact, cosy interior meant it still felt good. I think there are probably only ten tables at the most anyway. We dived straight in with a bowl of cheese nachos to share, it was only a couple of quid, but Tangy Cheese Doritos, not nachos, let it down a bit. Seafood tagliatelle for me (you can choose your pasta type, nice touch), medium black pepper sirloin for Bec. My large bowl of seafood pasta was good enough, creamy & garlicky. Bec's knife glided through her generous piece of meat, fresh salad garnish, but the Everest size mound of curly fries let it down. Far too many and more appropriate for your kids 10th birthday party! It would be better with a more manageable portion of chunky chips.
It wasn't long before yours truly was chatting to the guy on the table next to us, an eccentric retired gold dealer called Buzz, He and his partner have eaten there every night for 2 years !! (apart from Sundays) By all accounts given a days notice Nico will cook you anything you want. Aparently he does a very good mixed grill and sausage & mash, his speciality is mashed potato, made by baking spuds, then scooping out the middle and mixing in copious amounts of butter. Well for £28 smackers for the 2 of us, including drinks, it was fair game. Next time we'll probably drop the nachos, so I reckon you can both have a good plate full, with a cold beer for just over £20, as much as you'd want to pay in the week. Worth a look, and please say hello to Buzz from me. Oh, and one last thing, Nico's bistro, would certainly sound better than Nico's diner. Go for it !
Food 6/10
Service 6/10
Venue 5/10
Tel: 01332 208220

"You spurn my natural emotions" (Ever fallen in love, The Buzzcocks, 1979)
Martin, Tuesday 16th January 2007

Little Siam, Friargate, Derby

When looking for somewhere to eat, why do we often look through the window of the restaurant before deciding to go in? What are we afraid of? Does the amount of people dining determine the quality of the food? Are we afraid that if we're sat on our own, other people will look through the window and say "look at that wierd pair"? Or is it just that we Brits like safety in numbers?
Well I was going to dine here on Wednesday night with my mother & sister, but when mother saw it had only 2 diners, she promptly shrugged her shoulders and moved us on to Zizzi. 48 hours later & I'm back, a few more diners were present, but for a Friday night and prime location it was quiet (could be the time of year). I'd booked for 8, but me & the missus didn't turn up till 8.30. I think the complimentary prawn crackers had been waiting for half an hour, and had obviously given up. The place felt like it was stuck in a bit of an 80's 'Phoenix Nights' time warp, and I don't think the pictures of food plates displayed in the window do much to help, to me this lends itself to an air of 'take-away'. Menus hadn't been given much thought, with the customary wipe clean, plastic folder type. The layout was more like someone's cv than a menu (why do chinese restaurants still use the number system "I'll have a number 34, with a number 76" ??) With any restaurant, it's about attention to detail. Of course, no restaurant should be judged solely on it's type of menu, lighting, type of seats or whatever, but all these things are like pieces of a jigsaw, and when put together, they form a whole picture.
Orders for food & drink were promptly taken. First up was the mixed platter to share (£12 for 2 people) I'm a fan of starters in restaurants (I'd take starter over desert any time), but this type of starter is more visual, than taste, with the usual ornate flower carvings made from carrots & raddishes, all perfectly arranged on a brass stand. I reckon we'd paid £5, just for the visuals. Anyway I ate faster than Bec, so I got more. Only a bit of soggy sesame prawn toast remained. Plenty of entertainment was provided during the interval, when a waitress spilt what I assume was a glass of red wine, over a punter on the table opposite, "Panic stations". I'm thinking free meal here and dry cleaning bill !
Sweet and sour chicken for me, chicken with sweetcorn & mushrooms for Bec. Plenty of pineapple, tomatoe and onion, but the chicken was a bit thin on the ground. Bec's chicken was plentyfull, but the sauce didn't want to join in, and where's the chips ? "Sorry for the delay" when they finally turned up (how, when it's quiet, do they manage to do this?) Food eaten, fight over who pays, departure....
I know the owners are new and are obviously carrying the legacy of the previous guys, but it needs more than just a name change (which incidentally sounds too much like Siam Corner in Derby) Look at how indian restaurants like Anoki, Masala Art, etc have dragged them selves into the 21st Century, with modern contemporary dining, attentive service and ultimately good (& at times interestingly different) food. Come on guys, you're in a prime spot, Friargate, it should be rockin here. Give us a reason to come back, you're not the only Thai/Chinese in Deby.
£38 for 2, with drinks.
Food 5/10
Service 6/10 (I think the table opposite would disagree tho!!)
Venue 4/10
Tel: 01332 344828
www.littlesiam.co.uk

"Would you like number 23?" (Hong Kong Garden, Siouxsie and the Banshees, 1978)
Martin, Saturday 13th January 2007