Wokmania, St Werburghs church, Derby, DE1 1BU

Well I must confess, I have been to Wokmania before, but it was in Sheffield when I recently repatriated no.1 son back to university.
So it was no surprise that my visit to Derbys imposing branch of Wokmania, was once again to be with no.1
Walking into the dimly lit interior of the old St Werburghs church felt surreal and dramatic to say the least. It was immediately apparent why the opening of this branch was delayed almost a year, the logistics and cost must have given somebody a few sleepless nights.

We were promptly shown to our seats and the layout of the food was clearly explained, starters, mains and a section for desserts were all well defined.
How anyone can be expected to even dent the alleged selection of 120 different courses was beyond me, especially as the offer included dry congealed rice, cheap parts of chicken (i.e. wings and legs), dry meatless ribs, oily curries and dry breads. Many dishes weren't even labelled, so we never did find out what they were.
The desserts looked like they were straight from school dinners at Markeaton junior. Jelly, soft whipped ice cream, sponge cakes, copious amounts of slightly bruised apples and wait for it……bowls of Dolly Mixtures! My god, do they do kids face painting aswell? I’ll have Lion-O! (the Thundercats, remember?)
I started to wonder who would actually come here. I knew you certainly wouldn’t want to bring your new lady here on a date (unless you didn’t want to see her again of course), my mother certainly wouldn’t and couldn’t eat this much and £12.90 is in my opinion too much for students. It began to dawn on me that there were quite a few people in here who liked to eat a ‘lot’ of food, so that’s who’s gracing the doors of Derby’s latest eat-as-much-as-you-can venue! This isn’t for me and is a million miles away from decent grub. Vast amounts of poor quality food, non existent and non required service, but a dramatic venue. I predicted last year that Goji wouldn’t last and I’m going to stick my neck out and say that in this day and age, when consumers are more concerned about the quality and provenance of the food they put inside their bodies, there just wont be a place for the Wokamnias of this world, especially at £13 a pop!
Pizza Express: freshly made pizza, plus a starter for £13…….. it’s a no brainer!

Food: 2/10
Service: self service
Venue: 7/10

Tel: 01332 331155
www.wokmania.co.uk (it hasn’t been updated for nearly a year!)

o-kra, New Zealand Lane, Duffield, Derby, DE56 4BZ

The last time I visited the Lord Scarsdale on New Zealand lane in Duffield it was an old fashioned estate pub, so I was intrigued to see how Duffields latest Indian restaurant offering o-kra, was going to dispel this image.

You enter the building through what feels like a side entrance. The current trend for dramatic restaurant entrances was ignored or overlooked here, however once inside you immediately notice the completely transformed interior. Out with plain walls, bog-standard furniture and a brightly lit interior, in comes plush aubergine sofas, fabric room dividers and mood lighting.
We sank into the large sofa cushions and ordered some drinks as I scanned the restaurant. They had made good use of the space and gone down the “café crème” colour route (various hues of browns and cream), although a bit dated it was modern and cosy. The toilets had been given particular attention with contemporary hand basins, stone tiling and an abundance of mini hand towels. Still the best way to dry your hands in my opinion.

Papadums and pickles were ordered by mother (for some reason papadums aren’t on the menu?) followed by Murg Achari Tikka (£4.95) for me and Fish Malibar (£4.95) for sister. For mains I went for Chicken Tikka Dupiaza (£8.95), mother Roast Lamb Lazeez (£10.95) and sister Chicken Balti (£9.95).

In my experience papadums usually arrive at the table before you have chance to say “chicken tikka masala” so to wait nearly half an hour was frustrating to say the least.
Five or ten minutes later our starters arrived. Considering there was only about a dozen dinners this evening, service was sinfully slow. Mains arrived in due course, but the time from ordering to mains arriving, was now ridiculous.

Without going into every dish in detail I can say that the food was certainly acceptable. Clean, hot plates, well presented starters and a good meat ratio in the main curries. This is a stylish addition to Derby’s curry scene and certainly makes Duffield “curry capital” of north Derby. It’s the slow, dull and un-responsive service where they fall short. The place oozes incompetence at the front of house and at the time of going to press the web site didn’t work either.

Sort it out guys and you’ll have your Duffield and Quarndon jet-set camping out here.

Food 6/10
Service 4/10
Venue 7/10

Tel: 01332 841156

http://www.okra.org.uk/

The Bridge Inn, Chester Green, Derby, DE1 3QY

Now if I mention the Bridge Inn at Chester Green, it will probably conjure up images of deep fried food and two meals for £5 before 7.30pm, etc. But I can assure that John Palmer (previously at Soul on Green Lane) has been creating something considerably better than that here for the last year or so, I just can't believe I've not picked it up on my radar before.

The first floor dinning room is in complete contrast to the rest of the pub which is tonight predominately guys drinking Carling and watching the match on Sky. Their rapturous cheer drifting up the stairs, ensures the large room is given a bit of atmosphere. I was really impressed with the room, the low ceiling made it feel like we were on the set of "Death on the Nile", extremely warm considering the elements outside ravaging against the windows. I imagine it must be very pleasant in the summer, with views over the river Derwent from the abundance of windows.

There was a compact Specials menu and we all ordered from this apart from the Mother. It was Mussels in chorizo tomato sauce with french bread (£3.95) to start me off and my sister had a pop at the Arnold Bennett omlette (£3.95). A bowl full of mussels with a rich tomato, roasted pepper and chorizo sauce came with bread and fries. It was a meal in itself. My sisters omlette Arnold Bennett ( a famous classic, created so the story goes, by head chef at the Savoy hotel, for the novelist Arnold Bennett, who wrote an entire novel, Imperial Palace, while staying there) was perfectly cooked, firm on the outside with chunks of smokey fish inside an light, fluffy interior. Both were more "light bites" than starters, extremely satisfying.

Mains duly arrived. Mother had the battered cod, chunky chips and peas pudding (£5.95). She loved the home made chunky tartar sauce which had the addition of tarragon. For yours truly it was the pheasant breast with a bacon & cabbage potato cake and shalot & port sauce (£6.95). Absolutely top drawer. Locally shot pheasant with two rustic potato cakes in a rich, zingy sauce, perfect for a winters evening. Sister had their popular braised steak with wild mushrooms and herb lyonaise potato's. Two chunks of slow cooked, melt-in-the-mouth steak with a separate bowl of thinly sliced, layered herby potato's. Everyone took time between mouthfulls to murmur "fantastic", "what great value", "We'll be back here again soon"and "I can't believe it's not packed?".

I have to say it was extremely good, the prices were pretty keen and the quality of the food served up could have warranted considerably more. Freshly cooked, contemporary pub food in a very pleasant environment at outstandingly great prices. This really was Decent Grub.
After the meal John popped up for a chat and told us that all the food was locally sourced, ice creams and breads home made. I can't speak highly enough of the place. The only down side is that chefs can move from place to place quicker than managers at Newcastle United.

John...........the Bridge Inn and Derby, needs you!

Food 8/10

Service 7/10

Venue 7.5/10

Tel: 01332 371360

"We'll do the twist, the stomp, the mashed potato too. Any old dance that you wanna do" (Let's Dance, The Ramones, 1976)

Thai Boran, 56 Green Lane, Derby, DE1 1RP

Yet another thai restaurant, is indicative of the cuisine types available in Derby (there's a further two thai/oriental openings planned for this month alone). A vast selection of Indian & oriental restaurants, but still no decent "pub grub" within the city centre. What I'd give for a plate of piping hot smooth buttery mash and some locally produced herby sausages and ladle of rich fruity onion gravy (decent grub)........don't get me going!

Having stayed late at my shop one Monday evening, staining one of the floors. I was ready for a beer and a quick food fix. We were just about to snap the final lock shut when a couple of friends waltzed by, en route to Thai Boran. We didn't need to be asked twice.......in fact we didn't need to be asked. We were coming!
I've always prided myself on knowing most eateries within the city centre, but Thai Boran on Green Lane, was new to me. I hadn't ventured this far up Green Lane since Alf James closed down (how I used to think it was cool to walk around Derby with one of those fake cigarettes, puffing out clouds of talcum powder!).

The Tardis size interior revealed a cluster of rooms, filled with the habitual large wood carved elephants and scenes of Thailand. A table in the main auditorium was selected by your now extremely hungry stain (floor) covered host.

Thai beers already in place, and several bowls of fiery prawn crackers later, it was the Toong Thong (isn't that what Betty Boop wears?) that arrived first (£3.99). A brass stand topped with half a dozen crispy wonton parcels, filled with minced prawn & chicken and a sweet chilli dipping sauce, was equally shared between me and Bec. Charlie Dimmock would have been proud of the accompanying floral arrangement, carefully carved from large oriental radishes and dipped in the chilli sauce, they also tasted half decent.

The extremely nervous waiter swapped our empty beer bottles for full ones and removed the rest of the flower arrangement, ensuring he kept everything at arms length (does he think I've put one of Alf James's exploding detonators in the food remnants?!)

The main event for me was Gai Yang Phoo Khao Fai (or chargrilled chicken) £7.49 and Pad Num Mun Hoi £6.79, for the Bec. Once more served up by the apprehensive looking waiter. I reckon he'd recently been reading the Firework Code. "No 4: Light the firework at arm's length, and stand well back!" I couldn't get over his unusual body language.

The chefs artistic talents had again been put to full use, with my chicken dish served up sizzling in a cleverly created tin foil chicken. It was a perfect combination of thai herbs and grilled chicken, hot, sweet and garlicky. I forgot to order rice but as usual there's always plenty of it kicking around, so I pilfered some of our companions steamed jasmine rice to absorb any remaining juices in the base of my foil bird. Bootiful! Bec's dish was her favourite combination of chicken and mushroom. Well presented again, but padded out with a few too many peppers for her liking.

All in all it was a really good discovery. If we hadn't polished off about 5 beers each the bill would have been around £20-£25, for one starter to share and a couple of mains and drinks.

I do like Thai, but let's hope that sooner than later, someone sees an opening for something different within the city centre. We shouldn't be forced to flee the city in an attempt to find some decent grub, no wonder Pizza Express and Zizzi are always busy.

Food 7/10

Service 6/10

Venue 5/10 (the toilets let it down abit)

Tel: 01332 343933

"Eighties - I'm living in the eighties, Eighties - I have to push, I have to struggle, Eighties" (Eighties, Killing Joke, 1984)

Martin, September, 2007

Little Siam, Friargate, Derby

When looking for somewhere to eat, why do we often look through the window of the restaurant before deciding to go in? What are we afraid of? Does the amount of people dining determine the quality of the food? Are we afraid that if we're sat on our own, other people will look through the window and say "look at that wierd pair"? Or is it just that we Brits like safety in numbers?
Well I was going to dine here on Wednesday night with my mother & sister, but when mother saw it had only 2 diners, she promptly shrugged her shoulders and moved us on to Zizzi. 48 hours later & I'm back, a few more diners were present, but for a Friday night and prime location it was quiet (could be the time of year). I'd booked for 8, but me & the missus didn't turn up till 8.30. I think the complimentary prawn crackers had been waiting for half an hour, and had obviously given up. The place felt like it was stuck in a bit of an 80's 'Phoenix Nights' time warp, and I don't think the pictures of food plates displayed in the window do much to help, to me this lends itself to an air of 'take-away'. Menus hadn't been given much thought, with the customary wipe clean, plastic folder type. The layout was more like someone's cv than a menu (why do chinese restaurants still use the number system "I'll have a number 34, with a number 76" ??) With any restaurant, it's about attention to detail. Of course, no restaurant should be judged solely on it's type of menu, lighting, type of seats or whatever, but all these things are like pieces of a jigsaw, and when put together, they form a whole picture.
Orders for food & drink were promptly taken. First up was the mixed platter to share (£12 for 2 people) I'm a fan of starters in restaurants (I'd take starter over desert any time), but this type of starter is more visual, than taste, with the usual ornate flower carvings made from carrots & raddishes, all perfectly arranged on a brass stand. I reckon we'd paid £5, just for the visuals. Anyway I ate faster than Bec, so I got more. Only a bit of soggy sesame prawn toast remained. Plenty of entertainment was provided during the interval, when a waitress spilt what I assume was a glass of red wine, over a punter on the table opposite, "Panic stations". I'm thinking free meal here and dry cleaning bill !
Sweet and sour chicken for me, chicken with sweetcorn & mushrooms for Bec. Plenty of pineapple, tomatoe and onion, but the chicken was a bit thin on the ground. Bec's chicken was plentyfull, but the sauce didn't want to join in, and where's the chips ? "Sorry for the delay" when they finally turned up (how, when it's quiet, do they manage to do this?) Food eaten, fight over who pays, departure....
I know the owners are new and are obviously carrying the legacy of the previous guys, but it needs more than just a name change (which incidentally sounds too much like Siam Corner in Derby) Look at how indian restaurants like Anoki, Masala Art, etc have dragged them selves into the 21st Century, with modern contemporary dining, attentive service and ultimately good (& at times interestingly different) food. Come on guys, you're in a prime spot, Friargate, it should be rockin here. Give us a reason to come back, you're not the only Thai/Chinese in Deby.
£38 for 2, with drinks.
Food 5/10
Service 6/10 (I think the table opposite would disagree tho!!)
Venue 4/10
Tel: 01332 344828
www.littlesiam.co.uk

"Would you like number 23?" (Hong Kong Garden, Siouxsie and the Banshees, 1978)
Martin, Saturday 13th January 2007

Food glorious food........ or is it ?

January 2007
It's a cold damp Wednesday in January, I've just come back from Zizzi pizza in Derby (a chain!) with my mum and sister. My bowl of crab, pea and lemon oil spaghetti wasn't the worst in the world, but I knew it could be better. Why do we always end up at Zizzi or Pizza Express? I've decided, enough is enough !
Why is it that there are more crap places to eat, than good places. Where the hell do you go for dinner in the week that's not Indian, pasta or Chinese & isn't a chain (i.e. not independently owned). Why does most pub-grub fall short? Why is the only noise you hear coming from the kitchen that of a microwave "ping" and not a head chef shouting "service"! On this site we're gona find, with your help, the best places in the Derby area, let's say within a 15 mile radius, to eat, drink and shop for Decent Grub (including Nottingham?).Where do you get a traditional home cooked pub lunch? Where do you go for an impromtu dinner mid-week, that's been cooked, not just re-heated, and under a tenner? Where can I get a decent Gin & Tonic? (plenty of lime and ice, in my opinion) A decent cup of coffee and a perfectly pulled pint? Where can I buy organic & local produce? and where can I eat it? (now there's a challenge!) Where can you enjoy real ale with a hearty plate of localy produced sausages & mash? And where are those potentially Michelin star rated restaurants and chef's working away to create gastronomic perfection (come on there must be a budding Heston out there somewhere) The area does have some good places to eat and drink and there are plenty of people who are trying. But Derby doesn't even have an independent delicatessen anymore, for cryin out loud, Belper does! So let's find the local champions of good food, lets shout for Decent Grub! In fact tell me all your foodie thoughts and experiences from anywhere in the UK, I'm sure you wana tell em and I'd love to hear em.
Hopefully next time you fancy a plate of Decent Derbyshire Grub, you'll know where to look! From sausages to sushi, tell me about every mouthfull, everyplace, everywhere. I want your opinion on my reviews and your ratings out of 10, for food, service & venue. Let's see who gets the nod and who gets the knock? and hopefully together we can create a directory of the best!
.......... All I ask, is that it's Decent Grub!
Hey Ho, let's go ! ("Blitzkreig Bop", Ramones, 1976)
Martin, 9.10 pm, Wednesday 10th January 2007

PLEASE NOTE THAT ALL REVIEWS ARE JUST MY OWN PERSONAL OPINIONS AND AS WE ALL KNOW, RESTAURANT QUALITY AND SERVICE CAN CHANGE ON A DAILY BASIS. PLEASE TRY ALL THE ESTABLISHMENTS FOR YOUR SELVES AND LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. ENJOY.........
MARTIN (decentgrub.com)