Wokmania, St Werburghs church, Derby, DE1 1BU

Well I must confess, I have been to Wokmania before, but it was in Sheffield when I recently repatriated no.1 son back to university.
So it was no surprise that my visit to Derbys imposing branch of Wokmania, was once again to be with no.1
Walking into the dimly lit interior of the old St Werburghs church felt surreal and dramatic to say the least. It was immediately apparent why the opening of this branch was delayed almost a year, the logistics and cost must have given somebody a few sleepless nights.

We were promptly shown to our seats and the layout of the food was clearly explained, starters, mains and a section for desserts were all well defined.
How anyone can be expected to even dent the alleged selection of 120 different courses was beyond me, especially as the offer included dry congealed rice, cheap parts of chicken (i.e. wings and legs), dry meatless ribs, oily curries and dry breads. Many dishes weren't even labelled, so we never did find out what they were.
The desserts looked like they were straight from school dinners at Markeaton junior. Jelly, soft whipped ice cream, sponge cakes, copious amounts of slightly bruised apples and wait for it……bowls of Dolly Mixtures! My god, do they do kids face painting aswell? I’ll have Lion-O! (the Thundercats, remember?)
I started to wonder who would actually come here. I knew you certainly wouldn’t want to bring your new lady here on a date (unless you didn’t want to see her again of course), my mother certainly wouldn’t and couldn’t eat this much and £12.90 is in my opinion too much for students. It began to dawn on me that there were quite a few people in here who liked to eat a ‘lot’ of food, so that’s who’s gracing the doors of Derby’s latest eat-as-much-as-you-can venue! This isn’t for me and is a million miles away from decent grub. Vast amounts of poor quality food, non existent and non required service, but a dramatic venue. I predicted last year that Goji wouldn’t last and I’m going to stick my neck out and say that in this day and age, when consumers are more concerned about the quality and provenance of the food they put inside their bodies, there just wont be a place for the Wokamnias of this world, especially at £13 a pop!
Pizza Express: freshly made pizza, plus a starter for £13…….. it’s a no brainer!

Food: 2/10
Service: self service
Venue: 7/10

Tel: 01332 331155
www.wokmania.co.uk (it hasn’t been updated for nearly a year!)

Goji, Bold Lane, Derby, DE1 3QE

The trend continues for buffet style oriental eateries, with the recent opening of Goji on Bold Lane and the overdue Wokmania in the old St Werburghs church in Derby.
In an attempt to ensure I keep on top of all new openings, I decided it was time to go Goji.
Goji is a rapidly expanding concept with a further 7 branches opening this year alone. Their location in Derby is good news for the Cathedral Quarter in it's bid to rival Westfield and London Road in the food stakes. The fresh and vibrant facia and interior are however the most invigorating thing about Goji. When we visited this evening there were only a handful of tables occupied and it was in need of some "atmosphere".
Me and my partner Bec, duly ordered a drink and had the concept explained to us, £11.95 eat as much as you like including a desert. OK, let's go....
They're in a bit of a catch 22 situation here, not enough customers means a slow turn around in the food. Starters including crispy duck, had dried up under the heat of the over head lights, pancakes had stuck together and salad was looking weary to say the least. The hoisin sauce I used to complete the crispy duck pancakes was watered down.
The mains were better as they benefited from being predominately sauce based, so didn't suffer from the overhead heat. Pork satay was spicy and peanutty, but the crispy chilli beef was again dry and er.. very crispy. The beef in black bean had a curious synthetic taste that I couldn't put my finger on and was packed with pepper, it was too fiery for me. Bec's chicken in cashew nuts was accompanied by over cooked (or over waited) noodles and in the end we gave up.
A quick visit to the sweet trolley to select something to get rid of the lingering pepper taste in my mouth, revealed a selection of cakes and gateaus that looked liked they'd been attacked by a bunch of kids with machete's.
The manager duly asked if we'd enjoyed our meal, but we hadn't and he was forced to endure our displeasure. But to give him his dues he deducted one meal from the bill and he was keen to point out that when the the restaurant was full, the food turn around was considerably quicker, so if I was to return, I'd ensure it was on the busier Friday or Saturday nights.
It's such a crying shame that the no-better-than-average food, doesn't live upto the slick interior and lifestyle it portrays. It will be interesting to see what happens when Wokmania opens in the coming weeks.
Food 3/10
Service 5/10
Venue 6/10

Friday 11th July 2008, GOJI HAS NOW CLOSED DOWN

Tel: 01332 363900


http://www.lifeatgoji.com/