The Black Swan, 44 Market Place, Belper, Derbyshire, DE1 1FZ.

I believe that Belper is a town going somewhere. An award winning independent cinema, where you can have a bottle of wine whilst watching a movie, an Aladdin's Cave of a deli, a well attended farmers market and several new eateries including the recently re-furbished Black Swan in the Market Place, not to be confused with the Black Swan at Idridgehay (which is also near Belper).

It's a Tuesday,

We don't want to cook,

We don't want to go far,

We want "decent midweek grub!". Let's go........

There are three concepts on the go here: formal dinning downstairs, pub food in the bar or wait for it..... tapas in the bar too! We gotta try that.

Not just Spanish dishes on offer here (in fact most aren't Spanish) but various plates of noshable goodies and morsels from around the globe. We asked for some marinated olives (£2.00) to soak up our two pints of Carling, the other half wasn't keep on the strong cumin flavour, not what I would have expected either, but for two quid, who's complaining.

To share we chose a portion of kofte kebab (£3.50), regular nachos (£3.95), spicy potatoes (£3.00) and hallouimi with sweet chilli sauce (£3.50). If you look at that again, we've got middle east (kebabs), Mexico (nachos), Turkish/Greek (halloumi), far east (sweet chilli sauce) and the spicy potatoes can be anywhere you bloody want them to be!

The kebabs were three lamb skewers served with a chunky glass of tzatziki, they got polished off immediately. The unusual mix off halloumi with sweet chilli sauce actually worked quite well. Thick slices of deep fried "sweeky" halloumi with a glass of sweet chilli sauce, again all gone. The spicy potatoes weren't saying much and the landlord agreed with me when he collected the plates. Why serve it then ???!!!! However the large bowl of nachos we shared was top drawer. No tortilla chips or Doritos here (honestly I've had cheesy Doritos in a nachos before!) but proper large flour tortillas, deep fried and served with a generous blob of salsa, sour cream and guacamole. I'd have that again ( and I did the next day, but regretably we were told they'd ran out of guacamole, how frustrating).

It was fair to middle and I'd have another go some time, however I'd like to hear from any one that's been to their restaurant. Considering it was just over twenty smackers including a couple of pints, it was a bargain.

Food 5.5/10

Service 6/10

Venue 5/10

Tel: 01773 823000

"Let's wait for the blackout, The light is too bright, Let's wait for the blackout, Wait for the night" (Wait for the Blackout, The Damned, 1982)

The Mill Wheel, Hartshorne, Derbyshire, DE11 7AS

The short listed entries for the sixth Derbyshire Food and Drink Awards, organised by Derbyshire County Council, were announced a couple of weeks ago. I'd hoped to try and drop in on a few of the venues before the winners are announced on Thursday 25th October.
However time has slipped by and it now looks like The Mill Wheel at Hartshorne(*), shortlisted for Pub/Bistro of the year 2007, is going to be the only establishment I'm going to have time to grace between now and the 25th. At last we're gona get a decent Sunday lunch!

So it's off for a jaunt down windy country lanes with mother and Bec (a tip: don't sit in the back when you go via the Repton route. The constantly winding roads nearly caused me to be re-introduced to my breakfast!)
The Mill Wheel is a delightfull building, with a dramatic 24ft diameter water wheel dating back to the 18th century, greeting you as you walk in. Pretty impressive. However faux pas number 1 happened within a minute of arrival. There was no record of the booking I'd made the previous day, luckily they had a spare table in the dining room. We order a round of drinks. Just a soft drink for me, my stomach still thinks we're at Alton Towers. The downstairs bar area was extremely homely, a real fire and several sofas ensured maximum 'relax' factor. The 1st floor dining room regretably didn't have the same feel. Despite the original old beams, the large rectangular room felt more canteen than cosy. It oozed busy, industrious and slightly disorganised. Nevertheless our window table did ensure a lovely view of sunny autumnal fields.

Menus printed of sheets of A4 paper were thrust upon us, why they don't print a pile of menus and give every diner a fresh one, rather than a slightly crumpled one with a gravy stain in the corner, I'll never know. The cost is negligible, but the appearance is so much sharper. The table also felt a bit disorganised, with a tired single artificial lilly in a not-too-clean glass vase.
The starters were upon us. Chicken liver pate for Bec (£4.50) and ham hock terrine for myself. Both were accompanied by onion marmalade. They'd obviously made too much! The plates were well presented, clean in appearance and with just enough peppery rocket salad to accompany.
A large queen wasp circling our table kept us entertained until the main course. First I felt queezy, now I felt uneezy. Will I ever settle? Roast top side of beef for me (£8.95), roast leg of pork for mother (£7.95) and roast leg of lamb for Bec (£9.95) and two dishes of veg to share, the usual new potatoes, carrots & cauliflower. Three oversights then occured in quick succession. The second round of drinks never arrived, the requested horseradish and mint sauce didn't either and there was what I could only describe as a blighted spud amongst my veg, uuuurgh.
My accompanying Yorkshire pudding, had the texture of.......yes pudding. The oven & cooking oil obviously weren't hot enough when it went in. Everything screams "we can't cope".
My beef was also overdone for my liking, and I certainly wasn't given a choice. However all the meat was tender and we certainly weren't going to leave any behind.
When asked "was your meal ok?", I had to say "sorry it wasn't". They did what they only could and knocked off the price of one main. I got the impression they were short staffed and over booked today.
To be honest I was quite shocked that this is supposed to be in Derbyshire's top 5 pub/bistros. I just hope for their sake that the judges visited on a worthier day.
As we left the carpark I urged Bec to go back via the main road. I don't think my stomach can go through that again!

(*) For reference, the others in this category are:

Bluebell Inn, Farnah Green
The Chequers Inn, Froggatt Edge
The Holly Bush, Church Broughton
The Devonshire Arms, Beeley (Winner: Derbyshire dinning pub of the year , 2007)

Food 5/10
Venue 6/10
Service 5/10
Tel: 01283 550335

www.themillwheel.co.uk

"I`m sick to death of everything you do. And if I’m gonna have a puke, you bet yer life I’ll puke on you. I’m gonna be, gonna be sick on you" (Sick On You, The Boys, 1977)

Thai Boran, 56 Green Lane, Derby, DE1 1RP

Yet another thai restaurant, is indicative of the cuisine types available in Derby (there's a further two thai/oriental openings planned for this month alone). A vast selection of Indian & oriental restaurants, but still no decent "pub grub" within the city centre. What I'd give for a plate of piping hot smooth buttery mash and some locally produced herby sausages and ladle of rich fruity onion gravy (decent grub)........don't get me going!

Having stayed late at my shop one Monday evening, staining one of the floors. I was ready for a beer and a quick food fix. We were just about to snap the final lock shut when a couple of friends waltzed by, en route to Thai Boran. We didn't need to be asked twice.......in fact we didn't need to be asked. We were coming!
I've always prided myself on knowing most eateries within the city centre, but Thai Boran on Green Lane, was new to me. I hadn't ventured this far up Green Lane since Alf James closed down (how I used to think it was cool to walk around Derby with one of those fake cigarettes, puffing out clouds of talcum powder!).

The Tardis size interior revealed a cluster of rooms, filled with the habitual large wood carved elephants and scenes of Thailand. A table in the main auditorium was selected by your now extremely hungry stain (floor) covered host.

Thai beers already in place, and several bowls of fiery prawn crackers later, it was the Toong Thong (isn't that what Betty Boop wears?) that arrived first (£3.99). A brass stand topped with half a dozen crispy wonton parcels, filled with minced prawn & chicken and a sweet chilli dipping sauce, was equally shared between me and Bec. Charlie Dimmock would have been proud of the accompanying floral arrangement, carefully carved from large oriental radishes and dipped in the chilli sauce, they also tasted half decent.

The extremely nervous waiter swapped our empty beer bottles for full ones and removed the rest of the flower arrangement, ensuring he kept everything at arms length (does he think I've put one of Alf James's exploding detonators in the food remnants?!)

The main event for me was Gai Yang Phoo Khao Fai (or chargrilled chicken) £7.49 and Pad Num Mun Hoi £6.79, for the Bec. Once more served up by the apprehensive looking waiter. I reckon he'd recently been reading the Firework Code. "No 4: Light the firework at arm's length, and stand well back!" I couldn't get over his unusual body language.

The chefs artistic talents had again been put to full use, with my chicken dish served up sizzling in a cleverly created tin foil chicken. It was a perfect combination of thai herbs and grilled chicken, hot, sweet and garlicky. I forgot to order rice but as usual there's always plenty of it kicking around, so I pilfered some of our companions steamed jasmine rice to absorb any remaining juices in the base of my foil bird. Bootiful! Bec's dish was her favourite combination of chicken and mushroom. Well presented again, but padded out with a few too many peppers for her liking.

All in all it was a really good discovery. If we hadn't polished off about 5 beers each the bill would have been around £20-£25, for one starter to share and a couple of mains and drinks.

I do like Thai, but let's hope that sooner than later, someone sees an opening for something different within the city centre. We shouldn't be forced to flee the city in an attempt to find some decent grub, no wonder Pizza Express and Zizzi are always busy.

Food 7/10

Service 6/10

Venue 5/10 (the toilets let it down abit)

Tel: 01332 343933

"Eighties - I'm living in the eighties, Eighties - I have to push, I have to struggle, Eighties" (Eighties, Killing Joke, 1984)

Martin, September, 2007

The Thai Kitchen, 3 Wilne Lane, Shardlow, DE72 2HA

The new Alvaston Bypass can now propel you from Derby to Shardlow in minutes, so mother, sister et moi hit the gas and 10 minutes later we're pulling up outside the old Lady in Grey hotel. Dark and derelict from the outside, the entrance reveals a 'Narnia' esk junk shop interior with old tables, carvings and various brik-a-brak squeezed into every nook and cranny.
Considering it's August, the room felt surprisingly cold (mind you, hasn't this summer been the worst you can remember!?). Then as if by magic the heating suddenly came to life. Things are gonna start warming up!

The constantly bowing waitress took our order, nothing for the mother but Tempura Squid (£4.95) for me. Lightly battered, soft fleshed hoops of yummy squid with a choice of three dipping sauces, thai-riffic! Sis had a bash at the Thai Mixed starter (£5.45), a platter of various deep fried morsels and the ubiquitous ornate radish carving (are you supposed to eat this?).
The bowing waitress removed our plates and returned with the three mains. Mother had ordered Pad Prio Wan Gai (£7.15), a modern take on Sweet & Sour Chicken, a bit too sweet for her palate she proclaimed, but it still kept her quiet for some time. I ordered Gai Pad Med Ma-Muang (£7.65). I was intrigued by the description's foot notes proclaiming that this is Andy Roddick's favourite dish (world no.2 tennis player, in case you didn't know). I'd never have guessed he lived in Alvaston!. A classic thai combination of chicken, cashew nuts & chillies was accompanied by a bowl of sticky rice. A bit too fiery for me considering it only had a 1 out of 5 heat rating. Sister ordered Pad Gra Praw Gai hor Kai (I assure you these are the genuine names!) at £8.25 it was the most expensive, and also the most disappointing. The stir fried chicken with holy basil in an omlette, came....without the omlette wrap, resulting in an expensive plate of stir fried chicken & mushrooms. "So solly, fort yoo ask foor diflent dish". Well they never charged for it, which in my opinion is the only thing a restaurant should do in these circumstances. I'm still amazed how a kitchen that isn't busy, get such basic things wrong.

The eclectic interior is fun, but I do draw the line at the amount of cobwebs. I know it adds to the C.S. Lewis experience, but I don't think stir fried chicken with sweet & sour spider would go down well with most people.
Worth a look, but don't go in your Armarni suit or Jimmy Choo's!
Food 5/10
Service 6/10
Venue 6/10 (or 2/10 if you don't like spiders or cobwebs)
Tel: 01332 793311

"Don't tread on an ant he's done nothing to you, there might come a day, when he's treading on you" (Ant Music, Adam & The Ants, 1980)

Martin, August 2007

Unfortunately, despite the fact I thought this was a fun place and the food was acceptable, some friends visited last month and told me the food was very poor, and the restaurant was cold. Probably best avoided.

Martin, February 2009

Graze, 11-12 Friargate, Derby

Well at last, a brand new independent restaurant opening in Derby. This is exactly what local enthusiasts of "something that's half decent to eat, but isn't a chain" have been waiting for! The dark Bat Cave interior had intrigued me since the day it opened and now they've had enough time to correct any initial blips (I believe they had more than their fair share), it's time to don our miners helmet lamps and take the plunge.
It really is dark in here, not only are the walls, furniture, lights, etc all black, but the menu was pretty difficult to read being printed in black on dark grey paper.
The maitre 'de promptly turned up in his dark Gothan City suit, inappropriately smeared and stained in places. Maybe he's secretly attempting to paint one of the rooms white, in between his front of house duties.
An order for the Potted Atlantic Prawns (£5.75) and Smoked Mackerel Tian (£5.50) was placed along with a Crispy Belly Pork (£10.95) and a Poached Fried Chicken Roulade (£11.95) logged for mains. When enquiring if we'd need to order any accompaniments, extra chips were promptly offered by the man in black. Not a good sign.
G&T and Vodka & tonic were duly delivered. Hang on a minute, that's lemonade not tonic. Here we go .....
Once the transformation from humans to foxes was complete, I scanned round the room with my new ability to see in the dark and was taken aback by the sheer size of the place. My hearing must have also become more acute (bat like) as I was suddenly aware of the sheer volume in here. Several long tables towards the back of the room with large parties on them obviously made up the bulk of the volume. Hen do's or birthday's no doubt.
The starters came with suspicious lightening speed. My Potted Prawns wrapped in smoked salmon, were very chilled, they'd either been de-frosted or just taken out of a very cold fridge? Characterless in taste and texture, as was the thick wedge of foccacia, very "Morrisons bakery". The Mackerel tian was...... you guessed it, Mackrel pate. Bog standard stuff. Both dishes were displayed on large irregular shaped plates, massively over presented. All dressed up, with nowhere to go!
Within minutes our plates had been whisked away and we were presented with the main attraction on two more large inappropriate "OH, don't they look trendy" plates.
Tell me if I'm crazy but Crispy Belly Pork, needs to be crispy. Yes, you guessed it, it wasn't. A thick slice of wobbly pork isn't top of my list. The twice cooked chicken roulade wasn't saying much either, chunky chips, spinach and an alleged thyme jus were sharing the plate.
The speedy service, bland over presented food served to at least 100 covers at a time, made me think........ Could this be the new Antibo's?
Fine dining it certainly isn't.
Unfortunately this place is all show, at medium dough, for people "not in the know"!
No doubt you'll be invited to Karen's 21st birthday here, you'll see what I mean.......
Food 5/10
Venue 6/10
Service 4/10
Tel: 01332 208262

www.timetograze.com

"In darkness there is no sin, Light only brings the fear, Nothing to corrupt the eyes, There is no vision here" (Wait for the Blackout, The Damned 1980)

Martin (sometime in July, it wasn't that memorable)

The Red Lion, Hollington, Derby

It was only a matter of time before my culinary journey around Derby ended up at the Red Lion in Hollington, situated off the main A52 Derby to Ashbourne road. It's become widely recognised as one of the best pub's for food in the area, it's just a shame that it's a little bit too far for that impromptu mid-week jaunt (especially if you fancy a beer or a glass of wine).
Here to celebrate my son's 20th birthday (even though he never made it. He shot off to Blackpool last minute. Obviously preferring humdrum food to freshly drummed-up food!). Ah well, three's company, four's more expensive!
Two dining areas to choose from. The recent extension is the slightly more formal dining area, whilst the cosy bar offers the same menu.
The three remaining members of the birthday party plonked themselves in the bar, slap bang in from of the large chalk board menu.
I was the only one to take on a starter. Goats cheese on toast with a beetroot glaze (£5.65) was an attractive plate with a decorative squiggle of beetroot glaze. Very yummy, but there wasn't enough of the sweet and tangy beetroot glaze to cut through the goats cheese. I needed more!
Mother never does starters, so went straight for the lamb & mint pie with chips and peas (£8.25), a hearty dish, piping hot with plenty of chunky chips. No complaints, but I did think it was more of a winter dish than high summer. Bec had her favourite, the rack of lamb with garlic & rosemary jus (£15.95). A bit pricey in my opinion, it turned up pink, juicy, well presented and piping hot. I'd got an appetite so went for the fresh fish and chips with peas (£8.95). The large piece of crispy fish was struggling to fit on the plate. It was hot, fresh and extremely filling. I was beat!
It easy to see why this place has won various eating awards (even though it's not received an accolade for a couple of years now). This is top pub grub. Slightly pricey in parts, but quality does come with a price.
I couldn't help wondering if Daniel's fish & chips in Blackpool would be as good as mine........wake up Martin!!
The Red Lion. Sometimes hard to find, but invariably worth it.
Food 7/10
Service 6/10
Venue 7/10
Tel: 01335 360241

"My father when I was younger, Took me up to the hill, That I looked down on to the city smog, Above the factory spill, He said this is where I come, When I want to be free, Well he never was in his lifetime, But these words stuck with me" (One Way of Life, The Levellers, 1992)

www.redlionhollington.co.uk

Martin, Tuesday 3rd July 2007 (my son's birthday)

Ruskins, Derby Road, Melbourne, Derbys

Ruskins wins "Plain English Award" for it's menu, 3rd year in a row!

(click to enlarge)

I'm sorry, but Friday night is lads night. After a long stressful week at work, there's nothing I need more than a few pints O foamin ale! But when I get a call at 5 0'clock asking would I like to make up the numbers at Ruskins in Melbourne (super sub!) for Dave's birthday, I jump at the chance, and my better half is more than happy.
He's hired the whole place, all 24 seats of this cosy single room restaurant. It's the 1st time in years I've been to an un-licenced restaurant, so a quick jaunt to the Offy for some bottles of our favourite tipple, was pulled-in before our lift arrived.
30 minutes later we're in Melbourne, a village (or is it a town?) with more than it's fair share of quality eateries, most of them congregated around the busy Derby Road. At first glance Ruskins appears to be a house, until I recognised some of the reprobates gathered outside, we'd found it!

Someone with a bit more notice than us had had brought with them, a plastic barrel of the beloved Pedigree Bitter (they probably installed it the previous day, that's planning!). Pint in hand we proceeded to play musical chairs, until everyone was happy with the seating arrangements.

Copies of the extremely difficult to read hand written menu were strewn around the two tables. Unless I'm mistaken, I ordered Scallops wrapped in pancetta, with courgette and scallop fritters, for Bec it was to be large field mushrooms stuffed with spinach, garlic and a type of cheese that we still haven't been able to deduce from this poorly written menu (see above). My scallops were cooked just right and tightly wrapped in salty slivers of bacon, er sorry pancetta, with plenty of leaves and a tangy hollandaise sauce, very bistro style. Bec's plate was also adorned with a heap of leaves, topped with the large mushrooms, still firm yet cooked and oozing with the garlic, spinach and the unknown cheese. Finger lickin good.

Main course I opted for fillet steak, requested rare it came slightly overcooked for me, but with a superb light wild mushroom cream sauce. Bec had the rack of lamb, cooked just right (slightly pink) served with a wine and mint sauce and seasonal broad beans. We both eagerly polished off our plates of food.

To date service had been pretty slow, but to be fair they were trying to serve all 24 guests at once from the tiny en suite kitchen, subsequently we both still felt there was room for a pudd. I'm impressed at the large selection, 12 in total, and all my favourites creme brullé, sticky toffee pudding, baked cheesecake, almond tart, etc, etc. Well I have a confession now, due to the fact that the table was adorned with various bottles of wine, I must have had two glasses on the go! and several pedigree's have been forced down my neck. A week later I can't remember what I chose. I know, I know, bloody ridiculous, but I can tell you that I do recall clearing the plate, so I can safely say, "it was good".

I start to hear words like "taxi" and "how long", next I know we're evicted onto the street. We then proceeded to wait at least an hour before a taxi came to pick us up, by which time I was soaked, tired and wobbling like a jelly at a kids birthday party.

At £30 for three corses, I reckon it's good value, however Dave sprung the entire bill. Top night Dave, thanks!

Ruskins was a little gem, but take it easy on the drinks and definately pre-book your taxi. Hic.
Food 7/10

Service 5/10
Venue 6/10

Tel: 01332 864170

"There were times, I´m sure you knew. When there was f**k, f**k f**k-all else to do" (My Way, Sid Vicious, 1978)

Martin, Friday 15th June 2007